Have you ever wondered how some people can get others to do what they want without being pushy or manipulative? How they can persuade anyone to see their point of view or agree with their proposal? How they can influence others to take action or change their behavior?
The secret is not in their charisma, charm, or confidence. It's in their emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others. It's a skill that can help you build rapport, trust, and empathy with anyone you interact with.
But how do you use EQ to become exceptionally persuasive? The answer is simple: you use five simple words that can make a huge difference in how others perceive you and respond to you. These words are:
- "I understand how you feel."
- "What do you think about this?"
- "How can I help you?"
- "Would you mind if I...?"
- "Thank you for your time."
Let's see how these words work in different scenarios.
Scenario 1: You want to convince your boss to give you a raise.
Instead of saying: "I deserve a raise because I've been working hard and delivering great results."
Say: "I understand how you feel about the budget constraints and the need to prioritize expenses. What do you think about this proposal? I've prepared a report that shows how my work has contributed to the company's goals and generated more revenue. How can I help you make a decision that benefits both of us? Would you mind if I follow up with you next week? Thank you for your time and consideration."
Scenario 2: You want to persuade your spouse to go on a vacation.
Instead of saying: "We should go on a vacation because we need a break and have some fun."
Say: "I understand how you feel about our busy schedules and the stress we've been under. What do you think about this idea? I've found a great deal on a trip to Hawaii that includes flights, hotels, and activities. How can I help you make this happen? Would you mind if I book it for us? Thank you for your love and support."
Scenario 3: You want to influence your friend to quit smoking.
Instead of saying: "You should quit smoking because it's bad for your health and it's expensive."
Say: "I understand how you feel about smoking and how hard it is to quit. What do you think about this suggestion? I've heard about this app that helps people quit smoking by giving them tips, rewards, and support. How can I help you give it a try? Would you mind if I download it for you? Thank you for your friendship and trust."
As you can see, these five simple words can make a big difference in how others perceive you and respond to you. They show that you care about their feelings, opinions, and needs. They invite them to share their thoughts and concerns. They offer them assistance and solutions. They ask for their permission and cooperation. They express your gratitude and appreciation.
These words are powerful because they appeal to the emotions of others, not just their logic. They make them feel valued, respected, and understood. They make them more likely to listen to you, agree with you, and act on your suggestions.
So the next time you want to become exceptionally persuasive, remember these five simple words:
- "I understand how you feel."
- "What do you think about this?"
- "How can I help you?"
- "Would you mind if I...?"
- "Thank you for your time."